‘Soy lo que nunca fui’ captures heartbreak from three perspectives

In this award-winning film set in Tijuana, Soy lo que nunca fui (Broken Borders) follows a family divided under the same roof. Gabriela (Ángeles Cruz), Renato (César Kancino) and Abel (Ari Lopez) share the same story but from three different perspectives, each unique with their own struggles yet unknown to each other. 

Despite their differences, their heartbreak stems from the same place – an empty promise made by the father of the family roughly 15 years before, that he’d return to them after crossing the border to America. Each member attempts to fill the void he left behind, whether it’s hanging out with the wrong friends or searching for love in the wrong partners. 

Soy lo que nunca fui – a film recently nominated for Best Frontera Film at the San Diego Latino Film Festival – was deeply moving in its portrayal of this broken family. 

The, story told from three perspectives, revealed how crucial it was to understand each character to know what actually happened. It showed how easily a character could perceive a situation differently by having only one side of the story. 

By watching the same scenes through the eyes of another character, the audience saw how each of their decisions directly affected the other. It illustrated not only the difference in how each of them chose to process their pain, but also the fragility of the bond that held them together as a family.

The film also evoked strong feelings of empathy for each character as they fought their own inner battles on-screen. Their challenges gave something the audience could relate to, from Abel’s struggle with his sexuality to Gabriela’s fight for closure after her husband abandons her. 

Since its release at the Kolkata International Film Festival in December 2023, Soy lo que nunca fui has seen an estimated box office of MX$6 million. The film has received eight winning titles at film festivals across Latin America and South Asia.

To screenwriter and director Rodrigo Alvarez Flores, the power of perspective was a driving point of this film. He wanted the audience to step into the shoes of these characters and walk away with compassion for families who might face these same issues today. 

“It all hit me hard when I was very young and I started watching films. I got this sense of how powerful it is. Watching a movie is like having an opportunity to look into the lives of these characters, through different windows on a screen. It’s like assembling a puzzle,” Flores said in a Q&A session at the San Diego Latino Film Festival. 

“When I wrote this film, what I wanted to do was create some sort of a puzzle about a family, how miscommunicated they are, how broken they are, and in the way, show the pieces throughout the film so that the audience had an opportunity to assemble this family drama.”

The single camera used to shoot the entire film allowed the audience to feel closer to the characters, while also offering a deeper look at immigration, specifically the pain of families torn apart by the border. During a time when immigration is heavily politicized, the film gives non-Latinx viewers a glimpse into what that separation might feel like. 

According to cinematographer Alejandro Guzmán Montemayor, the camera adopted a unique color palette for each character to illustrate that heartbreak on-screen. By using a variation of wide and close-up shots, the movie didn’t require an inner dialogue for its characters because the camera itself was able to speak for them. 

“For Renato, we wanted the wide lenses, because we wanted to express this youth, searching for freedom, wanting to escape. But with Abel, I think it’s an inner conflict. So when we’re talking about the struggles of deciding, like, who you are, getting to know yourself, and this emotional conflict that you’re dealing with, it was very important to have shorter range, but to also feel more with these close ups and the camera was more in the face of the character,” said Montemayor. 

 “As for Gabriela, a mother who’s trying to move on with her life. She’s also tired of dealing with the same things over and over again every day. So the camera kind of adopts also that, every emotion and post posture… each character has its own subtle language.”

Although this film takes an emotional toll on its viewers, Soy lo que nunca fui is worth the watch because it teaches audiences the importance of perspective.

For families experiencing their own pain, it shows us what can happen when we put up walls against the people we love. The movie makes one reflect on how things could’ve ended differently for Renato, Abel and Gabriela if they had found strength in each other rather than facing their pain alone. 

By understanding what each of them went through, audiences can allow themselves to feel more empathy in their own lives and for the people around them who might be fighting their own inner demons.